I’m sitting here in Yellowstone National Park, taking a break from hiking and playing and chasing critters to have bacon and pancakes in the condo. More on that later. I keep meaning to give updates of what I have been up to, so I’ll use this fabulous free day to do that!

We have been building up the garden, including adding a new bed for lettuce, fennel, chives, and dill. We moved the coop to open up the back yard as well. The gardens look great, and we were able to set up multiple hammocks.

The start to some pac choi and lettuce. I started it in a small planter, then transplanted it  into a larger 4X4 foot bed.

This is one of the bigger beds.  Before I left for vacation, the lettuce, radishes and onions were  growing out of control!  I also added 4 more tomato plants and more peppers. There’s been dozens of other plants as well!

Even Charlie got in on the sun shine!  She doesn’t get to come out very often, but she  had a great time watching the chickens and stalking butterflies. How could I say no to that?

I took a quick hammock break to sit and relax in the sun. It was warm and sunny, and I couldn’t resist a break!

I had to take a quick pic of my feet in the sun, too! 🙂

The flowers in my front bed were blooming as well!

We had planned to go to Rainier, but Mia ate an entire chocolate cake, so we stayed home to watch her to make sure she was ok. After a lot of grass eating, moaning and whining, she was fine. To make sure I was still able to get some camping in, Nick put up the tent in the back yard, and set up the fire pit. It was a great way to end the day, and even Mia had a good time. Did she learn her lesson with chocolate? Probably not!

Nick and I celebrated what we refer to as our Bacon-i-versary, the celebration of the day we met and when Nick made me a bacon-wrapped hot dog. It was a turning point in rough year for me, and I wanted to make sure it was a special time. We planned a few trips, and I cooked a huge dinner for the two of us. I made Cab braised beef over spicy blue cheese polenta, with fiddle head ferns cooked in white wine and garlic and shallot. With that was a miners lettuce and wood sorrel salad with roasted peaches topped with blue cheese and drizled with with a balsamic reduction. I paired each with a cocktail to remind us of the adventures we had-Champagne with elder flower liqueur, a white wine from one of our first dates, and a Cab from when we went to Cave B Winery and Inn. It was an amazing night, and so very delicious!  Here’s some pics:

A few weeks ago, we made our way to Mt Rainier to do some exploring and hiking. We had decided we’d look for chanterelles and fiddle head ferns. Sadly, it was still too cold. We instead ate elk and venison burgers from a train in Elbe. We did a nice hike to some waterfalls, and I brought my film camera with me. It was a great time, and it was nice to get out and play, too.  We saw a few critters, my favorite was a little fox who was quite interested in what everyone was doing. I’ll have to post pics of him soon, too.

For the past few months I have been working on what I am referring to as the ultimate craft project. I’m not quite ready to release details on it quite yet, but details to come in a few weeks, promise!

That brings me to now! I have been on vacation since Friday, and this has been lovely!  We started our trip out to Yellowstone by driving first to Wallace Idaho. We walked around, hit a brewery where Nick tried all of the beers, and we played many games of pool. It was a fun time, and I highly recommend staying in Wallace if you want to check out some antique shops, have some good food, hit museums and if you want some amazing beers.

We slowly made our way to Yellowstone, hitting 50,000 Silver coins, an odd place right after the Montana/Idaho border, where I spend 5 bucks to play a slot machine and to people watch. We also passed through Missoula, where I picked up some black and white camera film and Nick bought this awesome old school Graflex camera-fully functional!  Isn’t it awesome?!

The past few days have been spent meandering through the park, hiking, taking pictures and just adventuring in general. It’s been an amazing time, and I am happy to be on the road. Yesterday I woke up to a pack of wolves howling outside.  I am also on the look out for a new film camera, as mine finally died after almost 15 years. The rest of the trip will be spent hiking, playing, caving and doing more photography. After all, I did bring 3 cameras and 6 lenses. I’ll post pics when I am back home and have better internet connection, and all my pics uploaded and the film developed. In the meantime, here’s one more pic to hold you over!

Here’s to a relaxing day, whether you’re on the road or just doing the day to day things 🙂

All my best-Raina
“I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”  Caskie Stinnett

In an earlier post – Got Your Goat – I ended saying that I didn’t know of an appropriate goat quote. I just walked into my living room to a Julia Roberts movie where she said, “Happiness isn’t Happiness without a violin-playing goat”. So there you go. You can thank Julia Roberts for that. Who said Notting Hill was a complete waste? 😉

Cheers,
R

Or possibly better titled, Get your fingers out of your mouth and stop touching my damn food! Or, possibly, Raina actually is a freak when it comes to germs, and may be judging you while you eat!

It’s no secret to those that know me that I have an aversion to germs, especially that coming from people’s mouths (blah)! I have considered lysol-ing the incessant cougher on the bus who was clearly too ill to be in public. Let me take you back a few months to what was probably a prime example of how I can’t do germs, or floor crunchies. I’ll follow that up with a delightful tale of a full bore bat shit break down. If you’re squeamish, you may just want to skip this one.

During a recent training at work, we were asked to learn and apply mindfulness as a method for reducing stress in our Veteran population. We spent a lot of time doing deep breathing and other similar activities (I know, I know-hard job, right?). Part of this process was something called Mindful Eating, where you eat a raisin, and focus on mindfully looking at it, smelling it, and ultimately eating it. I get it…slowing down and savoring your food? We could all use some of that..

So began the experiment. Step one: Pass around a container of raisins, and everyone grab one.

With their fingers. Out of the same container of unwrapped, sticky, raisins.

D’oh.

Now…I am about half way through this line of people waiting patiently for their germ riddled treat. “I can totally do this, these are my coworkers…it’s ok”, I think, as I grab my (still germ riddled,  but I am damn ok with it) raisin.

And the exercise begins.  We hold it up and look at it (I’m ok at this point), we turn it over in our fingers (got it, I’m still cool), and even smell it. We’re being deliberate with our food, and I am totally behind this. Then the leader says “Now, place the raisin in your mouth.”.

Insert screeching tires of a big-ass Mack truck coming to a halt.

Huh? There’s god knows what on this sticky thing. Eek! Up until this point, my eyes and the eyes of all of my coworkers have been closed, but upon hearing the news that I had to throw what is now (I’m pretty sure) a mechanism of germ warfare into my mouth, I was up, alert, and my mindfulness spell was broken.

Not wanting to appear ass-ish, I continued to look at it. Mindfulness is Mindfulness, right? Now, I am pretty into my raisin, and am looking at it when I hear a soft whisper next to me: “Crap”.  Apparently my coworker dropped his raisin. This is seriously not conducive to mindfulness, so I help. We eventually find it under the desk and he goes back to his mindfulness activity, and pops the raisin in his mouth.

Whole. Lee. Shit.

He shrugs and chomps along merrily, while I stare in both shock and impressed awe. “You ate floor crunchies!!”, I whisper. No matter, he is clearly more Zen than I.  I eventually rub the raisin on my pants, take a nibble, and throw the rest in my tissue, hoping to high hell no one I work with is ill.  Needless to say, this activity-not my favorite.

So, by now  you have a good sense of how my brain works based on the past blogs (you may want to read the one about home improvement, if you have other questions. You can find that here). And yes, I do realize that this is plain silly and that one raisin probably won’t kill me (at least we better hope!!)  Flash forward to this past Sunday. Let me set the scene.

A Moroccan restaurant in Belltown, a 50th birthday party for someone I don’t know and 20+ of her friends, mostly softer science social workers (think crystal healing, Reiki, Qigong therapies), clinical social workers, dog park friends-a good smattering of the people I spend time with in real life. Just…well, strangers.

Let me also take time to note a few things:

• I drove in downtown after not eating for way too many hours
• I wasn’t planning on drinking
• You eat with your hands at this place. With Strangers. And their hands.

Blame it on last night’s trip to Baron, or that its a lazy, sunny Saturday and I have the house to myself, but I am feeling plain lazy. It feels good. I spent my morning reading blogs. There’s a lot of awesome ones-check out the side bar, bottom right, for a selection of great blogs I like to follow. Recently, someone asked what I do with my time…I seem to get stuff done, and by all outward appearances, have the whole adult-thing on lock down. I smiled and nodded, wanting to say that I wake up, brew the perfect espresso and go for a morning jog. But instead, I ventured into a discussion of how I actually roll:

I can’t believe it is only Tuesday. TUESDAY PEOPLE!!!  This may be one of the longest weeks ever. It may also be that I am coming off of being sick,and not working a full work week and that I had a great weekend. Meh, either way, Friday sure could hurry up and visit. That would not break my heart.

Speaking of the weekend-it was lovely!
Friday brought around a decision to get a goat. Of course, the decision was spurred on by two things: Beer in an unspecified amount, and this picture from Twisted Vines Farm:

Seriously. How can you not see that face and THAT SCARF and not want him or her?!  Sigh. I convinced my loving and ever so slightly beery partner that i wanted this, nay, NEEDED this goat (or any goat). He reluctantly agreed. Its not 4 full days later, and I still think this little guy may be the coolest thing ever. For the love of Pete, he has a smirk! He’s a sarcastic goat with a scarf. Its like he was made for me. Also, he looks very soft…not like cows, which (and no offense to cow lovers) are not soft. At all. It broke my heart to find out cows weren’t soft and this was maybe 10 years ago. I am still pretty pissed about that. 😉

But I digress. I did not get said goat. As much as I would love a fuzzy critter crapping in my back yard, I do have neighbors, and a job. I did have some very salient points though, had my drunken decision resulted in goat-buying. For instance, I would tell my neighbors:

• He IS wearing a scarf. He is clearly a civilized goat, not like that sneaky goat behind him!
• He could be a she (I didn’t check into it that much), if that were the case, there could be milk.
• If there was milk, then there could be cheese!
• I could make yarn (or is that just sheep? Hmm…it is pretty apparent that I didn’t plan this out)
• If its a boy goat, then, he would be fierce and goat-manly and defend things. He could be a security goat.
• He would eat weeds – this may be the only well thought out and truthful item on here.

Currently, the title of this post is Pants-big girl and otherwise. I’ll probably change it by the time I finish jotting my thoughts down. It seems fitting (pun only slightly intended), that I use that title, and here’s why:
Pants, in the literal sense: I have been sick the past few days, and have been living in pajamas. Seriously. I haven’t left the house since late Sunday and have been working from home. I have big hair, a cough, and it ain’t pretty. Be glad you’re not here to witness it!
But it also means Big girl pants. There’s been change happening, which has required big girl pants to be worn! After 5 (quite) long months, my mom moved into her own place. I am really proud of her for venturing out and getting her own place, but am so, so glad to have my craft room back.

Speaking of….I’ve almost finished my first quilt. Its not the one I have been working on for eons, but a pretty blue one. After I finish this post, I’ll be putting the binding on. I am so excited to see this project done 🙂

No big news on my end, just a quick germy update 🙂

Hope all of you are doing well! And hey, look at that, the title stayed!
Cheers,
Raina

That is really the only way that today can be described. Blame it on hormones, too many cookies, or just a lack of patience, today can suck it.  I’m not normally a grumpy person. In fact, I usually get the feedback that my perkiness level could use a little dialing down. Today, I am just in a grumpy mood.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people fail to meet basic expectations-on life, on promises, or just in general at functioning as a entry level adult. It’s not really hard-put on your big boy/girl pants, take a shower and get your shit-show on the road. Don’t make promises that you can’t and won’t keep, and don’t make promises that are conditional. It makes you..well…It makes you a damn asshat, for a lack of a better word. I seem to be running into situations where when push comes to shove, and grown up decisions are being made, people bail. It happens, but it seems to be happening a lot.

Deeeeeeep Exhale. Ok. Now that’s off of my shoulders and out of my head…updates!!!

Now that football season is officially behind us, and the sun has been coming out more, its time to get out and get gardening! I started some lettuce and pac choy this weekend, and started to map out the garden beds. The chickens have been doing their best to keep the weeds in check, and I am enjoying hearing their happy little clucks as they have their dirt bath.

I’m closer to finishing a quilt, but the one that I have been working on for years sits to the side. I think I have hit a place that I am feeling stuck, so I’ll probably just put it away to pull it out at a later date.

There’s some other changes in the works, but I am not quite ready to get into them, its all good stuff, just waiting for now.

Hope all is well, and your level of asshattery is at a minimum.

Best
Raina

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O’Rourke

Have I mentioned that I love warm outfits? The idea of battling snow to go play drives me nuts, but I do love the idea of warm pretty clothes if I do have to venture out. Here’s what I love for this cold snowy weather!

The tiniest snowflakes are falling on 4-6″ of new snow that fell overnight. I am taking a sick day, which annoys me for a couple of reasons:
1. I have so much work to do, which means more work to do tomorrow and Friday
2. There are tiny snow flakes that I should be playing in!  Tiny snowflakes, people. Did I ever mention to you that I have a sled?

The snow will have to wait for the redness and swollen wonkiness that is happening in my throat.

2012 is now 18 days in. So far, its been pretty good.

I have been working on my 2012 list, and my life list-the things that I want to accomplish. I feel like there’s always a life inside of me that isn’t being fully lived. Being sick reminds me of that, and how much I can’t stand sitting still. I’ll be posting a new blog shortly, with some pretty pics of a type out goal list, so stay tuned for that.

In the mean time, I feel a nap coming on, as I sit next to a warm fire surrounded by tiny furry bodies.

Oh, 2011. I have so much to say about you, but I have no idea where to start.
You brought innumerable moments of exquisite bliss, soul crushing hardships, sun-filled happiness. Each day, week and month brought something new.

I rang in 2011 in an Irish Pub and hotel room in San Francisco with a man who I believed was the one I would be with for the rest of my life. I was engaged and had found out a few days earlier that we weren’t pregnant. We remarked that it was sad, but good timing as we had wanted to go to Napa as part of our bucket list.

3 months later, I lost a friend suddenly, which made me question every decision I had been making. I started to question why my relationship was so complicated, whether I wanted to continue in my current line of work. It made me think about so much. Life was suddenly surprisingly short, and I didn’t want to wait any more for things to happen. I put ultimatums on friendships and my relationship, I needed people in my life who could commit to being there, who had the same goals as I did.

Lying in bed Easter weekend, the person I had been best friends with for close to 17 years and I decided to call it quits. Just like that, we were done. It was simple-we just didn’t want the same things in life. He hadn’t wanted to tell me he didn’t want kids as he wanted me, and didn’t want to lose me. We cried with each other, not moving, not wanting to admit it was really over. We got up and bought a ham, and cooked one of the best last dinners we would have together.  Some months later, he had a change of heart. I tried to keep him around as long as I could, but I couldn’t get past the hurt. 2011 closed with us deciding it would be better to just go our separate ways completely.

2011 brought the realization that my father’s PTSD will never be under control, and making the hard decision to cut him out of my life.  It’s painful watching the ones you love hurt themselves and others, and knowing that there isn’t anything that you can do about it.  I hope that some day he can be a part of my life again, but I’m not holding my breath.

 But 2011 wasn’t all bad, oh no!

I had lovely adventures-travelling through Washington, Oregon and Northern California and to Eastern Washington and Leavenworth. And I did get to drink plenty of Napa Valley Cabs.

I was promoted and received a nice raise, a lot earlier than expected. Work was busy, and we launched the Veterans Administration as a major pilot program.

I did crafts, and did some photography, although I didn’t do any shows. I committed to making this a goal for 2012 though. I bought vintage and antique cameras, and tried my hand at painting.

I met an amazing man, at a time when my heart didn’t want to be open to anyone. He offered me bacon before I even knew his name. He convinced me that I should give him my number, I convinced a stranger that this guy should cater his daughters wedding. I had known him for 2 hours. We went on a first date, ok…let me back up. We scheduled a first date, and I freaked out, so I pushed it out a few days. After all, I had been in a relationship for years. I wasn’t ready. He was young. I was a mess. What if I got hurt again? After a quick pep talk from a friend, I jumped. We had our first date. I walked up, he was pacing and he looked nervous. It was cute. I was freaking out. Maybe it wasn’t too late to run back to my car…and then he saw me and smiled. It was like seeing someone I had known all my life, and suddenly it was all ok. We sat outside at a local brewery, the sun was shining, and the beer was good. We talked about food, and our lives and what we both did. The conversation flowed naturally, there weren’t awkward pauses. He insisted on paying the tab.   I drove him to his house, a cute mint green craftsman. I liked him already. I blared Adele all the way home smiling. I sent my friend a text thanking him for making me say yes to the date. Our next date brought me to his house for a home cooked meal.  He had worked hard to clean the house, threw his roommates out and even borrowed a tablecloth. He gathered flowers from his yard and the neighborhood. We had bacon wrapped dates with blue cheese, and bacon wrapped stuffed chicken. I brought wine. Again, the conversation flowed.

Weeks turned into months, and each day I find myself smiling about how bacon fixed a broken heart. I catch him looking at me, and I smile. I know I am loved and cared for, because of who I am and I am lucky to have found that. Not everyone finds so much love.

Despite the lows, this year was good. After all, how can you appreciate the great things, if you don’t experience any hardships? I learned what I am willing to let go of, and what means enough for me to fight for. I learned that I am strong, capable and empowered. I can live on my own, I can do things, and I should never have to hope for the life I want. I have it.

Here’s to an amazing 2012, my best to all of you. 🙂

Raina

“Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.”  – Jean Giraudoux