Month: December 2012

Oh, 2012….

Tonight I am sitting on the couch while the makings for lasagna sauce and enchiladas are cooking away on the stove.  The house smells awesome. I am sick, wrapped up in a robe and antique quilt, waiting for Tiny Beast to make her appearance. Another … Read More

Contractions, and not the grammatical kind

Unless you count a combination of a cuss word and another word. Because I sure do. I now (in theory) have less than 3 weeks and the Braxton-Hicks have come to visit.  Tiny Beast is still head down, and we have another appointment in less … Read More

HA! Who needs Bob Villa?

I don’t know if this is a sign that Nick and I are ready for maternity/paternity leave or what, but it made me chuckle and I had to share.

Nick came in to my office earlier today while I was finishing lunch to say, “Did you know screens come in different sizes?” He started to go on, but it was too darn funny to not stop him and remind him that this conversation was awfully familiar, as over a year ago, it was ME asking HIM this very same question (clearly the screen situation never got completely resolved, after a cat decided to chew his way through the screen. Again.)

Not to be deterred from getting in a laugh, I continued; “I remember having this very same conversation with you, and you said ‘yes, they do as windows come in different sizes’ and something about setting myself up for success! I even blogged about it!”.

This wasn’t as funny to him as it was to me, as he continued on, super unfazed by my wit, to say that McLendon’s has screen workshops and repair events, and that he still has no idea why I was using scissors to fix anything.

Touche.

Either way, it looks like all of the screens on the house will get repaired AND i had a chance to quote my own blog (located: here), even though my point totally fell flat.

I may just have an incredibly patient man.

So here’s to letting someone else play Bob Villa, even if they don’t appreciate your creative tool usage.

Raina

Current Events…

I posted this to Facebook, and then realized, not all of my readers know me in real life and are on my Facebook page. I’m somewhat political, more so around women’s rights, but definitively so around mental health care. A change is needed, and while … Read More

Inside jokes

Today was potentially my last day working from the office before Tiny Beast gets here. She’s been head down for a while, and I’m starting to dilate. In theory, I have less than 4 weeks, but this little bear has a mind of her own. … Read More

6 months later

I look at this picture, and it still doesn’t seem real that he’s gone, or that it has been 6 months since he died. In some ways it seems like a lot longer, and some it seems like the time has flown by in the blink of an eye. In some ways, it makes sense, in some ways it still doesn’t click that he’s gone. Some days I still find myself planning to call him. Habits, I guess.  I don’t know that losing a parent ever gets easier, it just gets to be different than it was.

Sunday was the first time I have gone to visit my Dad since we laid him to rest in June. I don’t have a good excuse for not visiting. The cemetery isn’t that far. I just haven’t made it. Work, life, baby, everything has kept me busy, and I really didn’t know what to say.  We found his spot, and I stood there, and cried. I didn’t have any words, just an outpouring of emotions. I missed my Dad at that moment so much, I grieved for my loss, for Isabella’s loss, my mom’s…I just hated that he was gone.

When he first died, a friend of mine said, “It doesn’t ever get easier, it just becomes different”. The happy memories start taking over the bad. I still remember how frightened he looked a few weeks before he passed away- wild-eyed and panic stricken as I tried to find any facility that could take him. That is slowly fading, and his happy dance that he did when I told him I was finally pregnant is replacing it.

I was, and still am, so fortunate to have had an amazing man as my Daddy. He was smart, artistic, funny, and brave. He put others before himself and his safety. He taught me to love travel and to rebel against a stagnant life, to seek out happiness, but not at the expenses of others. He tried to teach me to not take myself so seriously (something I am still working on), and to concoct odd food combinations (kipper snack ramen, anyone?? No?)…He gave me my huge hair, and my love of 80’s music (hmmm…the two go well together), and to help those less fortunate than myself.

In short, he made me who I am today, and gave me the traits that I hope to instill in my child.

Again, I still miss him so much, and I loathe the PTSD that took him away from us too early, but I am so lucky to have had him in my life as long as I did.

Here’s to you, Dad. You’re still so, so missed and always loved.

Raina